2012 - A preview

I am absolutely tired of year in review stories that come out this time of year so I thought that I would do a year in preview of 2012 just to be a little different. Let me use this disclaimer, I am a truck driver, not a psychic, and as such will have to wait to find out what happens just like you will. This is just kind of a wish list so to speak. It is also going to be heavily political with a little NASCAR and trucking thrown in with a healthy dose of humor. So kick back with your favorite New Years beverage and see what is in store.

2012 in politics will be a wild ride. President Obama will announce that he has decided that this whole presidency thing is way too tough and that he has decided to resign and take a job in northern Alaska counting polar bears on ice floes. This infuriates Michelle Obama who becoming used having everything that she has being paid for by the public immediately files for divorce and goes on welfare, stating “You don't expect me to actually WORK for a living do you?” Vice President Biden upon hearing the news curses up a storm and is heard screaming “That f*%#ing son-of a b^#@& is not going to lay this on me!” Biden abruptly resigns as well and is last seen boarding a fishing trawler. This leaves us with President John Boehner. As his first act as president he signs the “National Right to Carry Reciprocity Act” and then sets to work disassembling Obamacare.

The new year will continue to see a rise in the popularity of NASCAR. The racing series decides to make it's all star race in Charlotte, NC in May a “run what you brung” event with teams allowed to make unlimited modifications to the drive-train of the cars. The safety systems of the cars are not allowed to be touched however. Dale Earnhardt Jr wins the race with an average speed of 225.689 mph with the race never being slowed by a single caution. When asked after the race why things went so smoothly out on the track second place driver Carl Edwards states “Are you kidding me? Going that fast if someone made a mistake they would have went THROUGH the turn 3 wall!

In entertainment we will see a popularity comeback for rock music. Van Halen reunite with BOTH David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar. AC/DC and a rejuvenated Journey go on tour. And Fleetwood Mac sell out several dates despite Mick Fleetwood having to take a wheelchair to his drum kit. In movies the world will be shocked when Hollywood fails to release any re-makes or adaptations of old television shows! All movies are truly new movies and in appreciation the public races back to the theaters creating a banner year for the industry with one exception. Unfortunately Michael Moore decides to make a film about the occupy protests of 2011. Moore sinks his entire personal fortune into the film, certain that it is going to be his biggest financial success ever. He however has the audacity to actually charge admission for the film, and the occupy protesters have a fit. They demonstrate at theaters and eventually the total take for the film is $22.50, the entirety of which is from a family in Sheboygan, Wisconsin who thought that they were buying tickets for a Three Stooges retrospective showing at the theater. When asked what he thought of the film as the family walked out of the theater half way through the film the father, who asked not to be named out of fear that his young son would be ridiculed said “We thought initially that they made a mistake and were showing “Free Willy”, but the whale would not shut up! We finally decided to leave when Junior told me that wales can't really talk.”

The trucking industry booms in 2012 and has a tough time keeping up with the explosive growth of the economy that followed the exodus of the Obama administration from Washington. In an unprecedented move the FMCSA decides to scrap the hours of service regulations that were to take effect in July. The agency came to the conclusion that since the current regulations were working as they were there was no need to fix what wasn't broken. With so much freight needing to move and a limited supply of trucks and drivers, freight rates skyrocket and drivers reap big financial rewards. Shippers and receivers finally commit to getting trucks in and out of their facilities quickly when they are repeatedly hit with large detention bills after trucking companies figure out that they make more money when the trucks are moving rather than sitting.

That is it. I know pretty much for certain that nothing that I have written will happen, although it was kind of fun to imagine it. I sincerely hope that everyone that reads this has an absolutely blessed and wonderful year in 2012.

As usual, thanks for your time, and I'll see you down the road.